Ecks-Rated Tales From Vegas

Ecks-Rated Tales From Vegas: Asking For A Friend..Can I Get A Million From The Casino Cage!?


Robbing A Casino

We hear about people robbing the cash cages at the Casinos in Vegas all the time. Some come in with a little scarf, or nothing at all hiding their face, but others have dressed in some fancy-schmancy tuxedos with animal masks.

Not sure how hotel security works, but if I'm on the job, the ANIMAL MASKS would be a clue that something is about to go down. But according to KLAS-TV, this one was a little different.

The guy NEVER even came into the Casino, he robbed it OVER THE PHONE!

Lemme explain.

Some rando called the cage at the Circa Hotel in downtown Vegas and claimed to be the owner Derek Stevens.

First question is, how did he get the phone number inside the cage?

Then he asked one of the supervisors to separate the money into four installments of $314,000, $350,000, $500,000, and three smaller amounts. The caller said that the money was gonna be used to pay for fire safety equipment.

Okay. Next question is, what kind of equipment costs a MILLION BUCKS?

Checked online and the most expensive defibrillator we found was like $3,000 bucks. How many defibrillators does one joint need?

Might As Well Give Him The Money

Then the supervisor was asked to hand over the bags to the guy at a few different off-site locations.

Next question is, why are you meeting a guy at Denny's or McDonalds or Starbucks with over a MILLION in cash? THREE different times!

Apparently, the supervisor believed she was on the phone with the hotel’s owner, while texting with her manager and meeting with the owner’s attorney.

Next question is, CAN I SEE SOME ID?

The Las Vegas Metro Police Department detectives found $850,000 of the money in an area home after tracking the vehicle involved in the theft. Approximately $300,000 and change remains missing.

I AIN'T Sherlock Holmes, but the OBVIOUS answer to this Whodunnit is, the cage supervisor was ALLEGEDLY, POSSIBLY, MAYBE involved.

And I'm also no genius, but, if I was planning this heist, I would probably think about a rental car. Reports said that this dude used a vehicle that was registered to his aunt, who he LIVED WITH! Just another day in PARADISE!!!


Now people are paying thousands of hard earned dollars for a FREAKIN' ticket stub.


This is big, big, big, BIG business. How big? How about a Michael Jordan signed ticket card from the 1984 Olympics.

Gimme a guess? How much you think? I'll wait...okay.

Going for $700,000 bucks on eBay. So, just for you know what and giggles, I hit the 'Make offer' button and punched in $749.62. The guy sent me an UGLY, NASTY, EXPLETIVE filled note that is impossible to share in this space.

Can't blame a guy for trying!

So I scrolled down the list for something more in my price range and found a Shohei Ohtani stub, signed, from his first MLB game. It's up on eBay and the opening bid is $39,999.99.

Was thinking about bidding, sent a note to the owner asking if they could lower the price. I was fine with the $39,999 bucks, but the 99 cents, C'MON! SERIOUSLY! The guy would not budge. No Ohtani for me.

Scrolled down again for something more in my price range and found a signed ticket stub from Cedric Maxwell's last game with the Boston Celtics. Ced wasn't the greatest player but did have a Hall of Fame nickname...CORNBREAD! And the price, $24.99, fit right into my monthly budget!


Benjamin Eckstein is a nationally syndicated sportswriter/oddsmaker. His column, America's Line, with the Ecks & Bacon appetizer, has run in the New York Daily News and over 100 other papers since 1988. You can follow him online at He is beloved by most, when he picks winners, and detested by others, when he picks the occasional loser. If you wanna piece of Eck, hit his Email...[email protected].