Ecks Related Tales

Ecks-Rated Tales From Vegas: Bless Me Father Because I Might Have Sinned!

Las Vegas - Casino Security in downtown Las Vegas responded to a report of a suspicious subject - a female dressed like a nun. Normally, we would not give this a second thought. How can a nun be suspicious? Well, this "nun" was seen contacting multiple male patrons asking if they want to “hang out” in her room. One guy said he thought she was a prostitute. DUH!!!

YES YOU CAN EAT WITH YOUR HANDS!!

The Tournament of Kings is the ultimate dinner and show experience in Vegas according to the folks at the Excalibur Hotel. If you like to eat with your hands, who doesn't, and like horses, this is your jam. Adapted from the tale of King Arthur, this live-action production takes place in a 900-seat theater-in-the-round. Valiant knights ride mighty steeds and prove their chivalry amongst special effects and pyrotechnics.

That's the blurb from the PR people, not my words just in case you though I was going all medieval. While knights fight, guests feast on a hearty dinner using their hands. We have been to the Tournament of Kings a few times, and while the food AIN'T Michelin Star quality, it ain't too bad. If you have any food allergies or dietary issues, make sure the call at least fours hours prior to show. If you have any questions, just think of me as your Knight in shining armor

A LATTE AT STABUCKS OR A TICKET TO A MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES GAME???

Ja Morant is arguably the most electric player in the NBA, but unfortunately, he will not be on the floor for the Grizzlies until he serves his 25 game suspension. That could be one of the reasons why the Grizz have started the season at 1-6. So, no Ja and a lousy team means you can get into a Memphis home game for around $4.00. Just don't bring your car, because parking costs like $30 bucks. If anyone wants to meet me in Memphis, we can do Graceland in the afternoon and you can meet me at the FedExForum in the evening. I just bought the ENTIRE upper section for $128 bones!

LOX & BAGELS!!!

Another winner for fans of the LOX, pushing the record over the last two months to 7-2. Looking to hit the 80% mark this week, gonna drop some cash on Louisville over Virginia. Not thrilled about laying 20 points, but man, the 'Ville is a MONSTER at home. They have won TEN in a row and if you're sitting, have outscored the opposition, 181-51. And the last two games have been even more impressive, with a 34-3 destruction of Virginia Tech and a 23-0 bagel against Duke.

The Cardinal are averaging 40+ points at home while Virginia has allowed the most points of any team in the ACC. To say that Louisville QB Jack Plummer has been accurate would be an enormous understatement. Last week, against Virginia Tech, Plummer was 11 of 12 for 92%. The Cavaliers QB situation is shaky because the starter, Tony Muskett, will NOT play. That leaves the job in the hands of freshman Anthony Colandrea, and that's a problem. Yea Virginia beat North Carolina and Miami back in October, but that was WITH Muskett firing bullets. With nine days to rest before heading to Miami for a critical showdown, expect Louisville to show no mercy and walk off with an easy breezy 30 point W.   

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Benjamin Eckstein is a nationally syndicated sportswriter/oddsmaker. His column, America's Line, with the Ecks & Bacon appetizer, has run in the New York Daily News and over 100 other papers since 1988. You can follow him online at www.americasline.com. He is beloved by most, when he picks winners, and detested by others, when he picks the occasional loser. If you wanna piece of Eck, hit his [email protected].

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