LAS VEGAS - RIDING THE STANLEY CUP ZAMBONI!
Is The cup Coming To The Desert?
Before we get to my wedding proposal to Mrs. Ecks-Rated, gotta yell about my future bet on the Vegas Golden Knights. Bought Vegas to win the Stanley Cup a couple of months ago at a DELICIOUS price of 8/1 odds.
Of course, I have been watching the Florida Panthers dismantle the record-setting Boston Bruins, banish the Maple Leafs and oust the Hurricanes. That made me a little nervous and started to think about buying a chunk of the Panthers to win the Cup, so I win some cash NO MATTER who lifts Lord Stanley.
But this morning, just saw a Tweet from Larry Flynt’s infamous Hustler Club that said it will give all the Golden Knights players platinum VIP membership access & free lap dances for LIFE if they win the Stanley Cup.
As an extra victory incentive, Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club says it will give Vegas Golden Knights players "platinum VIP membership access & free lap dances for life" if the team wins the Stanley Cup. #OnlyinVegas pic.twitter.com/OMQtYobDR0— Feven Kay (@Feven_Kay) June 1, 2023
Just washed my Panthers bet off the board, and QUADRUPLED my wager on the Knights. ONLY IN VEGAS BAABBBEEE!!!
WEDDING OR JAIL?
Back in the late 1970s, I met this AMAZING lady at a deli on Long Island in New York. Went in every morning for a bagel & a schmear (usually cream cheese for my non-jewish friends). And came back at lunch for a sandwich and lobster bisque soup almost every day.
My eye was on her but it took a few months until we went out on our first date. SHE made the first move, asking me to give her a few samples of my handwriting to analyze. No one had ever done that, and I was intrigued. She needed a sample from high school, something from college and something current. I said okay if we can do it over dinner.
BANG! We started dating in March after she came back to me with five pages of ME, and NAILED every stinkin' facet of my personality.
The relationship was going very well but my plan to start my own business had a few holes. Worked for a small sports magazine that handicapped games and sold picks. The client list was extensive and VERY lucrative, so me and a few friends decided to steal some names and go into business on our own.
The owner got a warrant for our arrest in New York State, so our next date night had to be in New Jersey.
We were crossing over the George Washington Bridge and as soon as I saw the welcome to Jersey sign, I asked this beauty to marry me. No getting down on a knee.
Was thinking about stopping traffic on the Bridge and getting out on to my knee, but didn't know if the New York police were following, and if they could arrest me right there even though it was out of their jurisdiction.
So, no knee, no asking permission from her parents. No ring, but rather a pin from my Alpha Epsilon Pi college fraternity. And all this from a 28-year-old selfish ass with a BOUNTY on his head that STILL lived with his PARENTS!
For some strange reason, she said yes to this criminal on the run. Kids, grandkids and dogs for 40+ years and it's STILL happily ever after. And by the way, we worked out a settlement for the stolen names and NEVER went to jail.
COME WITH ME TO THE BANK OF ECKS!
Gonna throw you an MLB pick in this spot every week to help build a big PHAT bank account as we head toward the football season. Take a Benjamin and drop it on the Padres over the Cubs tonight.
Benjamin Eckstein is a nationally syndicated sportswriter/oddsmaker. His column, America's Line, with the Ecks & Bacon appetizer, has run in the New York Daily News and over 100 other papers since 1988. You can follow him online at www.americasline.com. He is beloved by most, when he picks winners, and detested by others, when he picks the occasional loser. If you wanna piece of Eck, hit his [email protected].