Ecks-Rated Tales From Vegas

Ecks-Rated Tales From Vegas: Changin My Byline, Mark Jackson's Offer & Trudeau's Next!!!!!!


Why a new byline? Well, one lucky person, hopefully ME, will receive free Subway sandwiches for life as part of the restaurant’s campaign to find their biggest fan, as long as that person commits to legally changing their name to 'Subway.' Here's the skinny directly from Subway.

Subway fans can visit between 9 a.m. August 1 and 11:59 p.m. August 4 to enter the contest. By entering the contest, fans will have to agree that if they are selected as the winner, they’ll legally change their first name to 'Subway.' The winner will receive $750 to cover the costs of legally changing their name, along with $50,000 in Subway gift cards.

Back in 2022, Subway offered free subs for life to anyone who agreed to get a 12-by-12-inch tattoo promoting the company. Passed on the ink, but the name change is ALL ME!


You probably heard that Mark Jackson was let go from ESPN along with Jeff Van Gundy. Not too worried about Jackson's finances, but apparently, an adult website is. No names, you can Google it. The adult site offered Jackson ONE MILLION BUCKS to do play-by-play.

Here's the letter:

Dear Mark Jackson,

My condolences on being laid off by ESPN and vacating your role as an NBA analyst at the worldwide leader in sports. Now that you’re out of a job and in search of work, I’d like to formally extend you an offer. We would like to hire you as the company’s first-ever play-by-play announcer. You can even use your catchphrase, 'Grown Man Move!'

In return for hiring you as our play-by-play announcer for one year, we’d be willing to compensate you $1,000,000.


No name available.

So, we never really liked Jackson in the booth with Van Gundy and Hall of Famer Mike Breen. Liked Van Gundy and LOVE Breen. Actually, the adult site might wanna change their offer, and ask Breen to do play-by-play. They might have to bump the offer up to $2,000,000. Why? You know what Breen's catchphrase is when a player hits a three point bucket. BANG!!!


Just found out that Justin Trudeau and his wife are splitting up, so of course, there are odds on next. The favorite is a name we don't know, but familiar to most Canadians, Melanie Joly, who is currently the Minister of Foreign Affairs. Joly, the head of Affairs, which is a hoot, is listed at 2/1.

Magalie Lepine-Blondeau, a TV personality and actress, is 8/1, but the next two choices would cause a literal EARTHQUAKE from Nova Scotia to British Columbia.

Melania Trump, yea, THAT Melania, is listed at 10/1, but the next name is the HIGHLIGHT of my oddsmaking career, KIM KARDASHIAN! Kim K opened up at 12/1, but once MY money hits, she'll become one of the favorites! Cover your eyes kids, because the STORM is on the way!!!    


Benjamin Eckstein is a nationally syndicated sportswriter/oddsmaker. His column, America's Line, with the Ecks & Bacon appetizer, has run in the New York Daily News and over 100 other papers since 1988. You can follow him online at He is beloved by most, when he picks winners, and detested by others, when he picks the occasional loser. If you wanna piece of Eck, hit his [email protected].