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Las Vegas Expert Picks: Social Distancing Edition

Las Vegas Expert Picks: Social Distancing Edition

Vegas veteran Benjamin Eckstein, author of America’s Line, brings three decades of experience to make weekly picks in his “Ecks & Bacon” column.

LAS VEGAS — Usually average between 50 and 100 emails every week at the Vegas office, and MAN, what a hoot. I can always count on the Ecks & Bacon Nation to provide some comic relief.

Vegas is Undergoing Social Distancing in its Own Way

One of my longtime readers, Poor JR, sent this one in yesterday, and I’m printing it just as it appeared on my screen. No touch-ups, no spell check, no editing...

BEN... I always come to you with my Las Vegas questions.

I heard on the radio that Vegas is offering drive through STRIP SHOWS - $100 - and you don’t have to get out of your car.

Inquiring minds want to know, how do I get my usual lap dance if I’m in the car and the stripper isn’t?

-POOR JR.

So, naturally, as painful as it might be, and with Mrs. Ecks & Bacon on board, I am REQUIRED to do my homework, and check in on all the clubs here in Vegas. Here’s what we found.

One strip club, Little Darlings, is not only open, they are also planning to offer drive-thru strip shows and NUDE HAND SANITIZER WRESTLING!!! Starting this weekend, customers will be able to drive up to the front door, pay $100, and enjoy a 10-minute XXX show from the comfort and safety of their vehicles. That takes social distancing to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL!!!

Probably not gonna go downtown and visit, unless of course it becomes a necessity. But if you have any other Vegas questions, you know how to find me... ben@americasline.com

Now, we open a new thread, and we’re calling it...

MAKE ’EM LAUGH/MAKE ’EM CRY!

Gonna roll out some crazy, wacky and wonderful gambling stories over the next few weeks, talking about the biggest $core you ever made, or the wor$t bad beat that rocked your bankroll.

I’ll take the first crack. My biggest hit was back in the 2000 Kentucky Derby. First, lemme say that I ain’t a horse guy. One of my boys, the brilliant Dr. B, who just might be reading this in the Albany Times Union, IS a horse guy. They have this Future Book here in Vegas for the Derby that comes out in like November, with names you never heard of and odds that are DELICIOUS. When my boy Dr. B told me we’re down on Fusaichi Pegasus, I thought he was talking about a new Lego product. Turned out “Fu-Peg” was a horse that the Doctor was eyeballing, and we bought at like 70/1. Maybe it was 60/1.

The Future Book is obviously a gamble, because most of the horses NEVER make it to the Derby starting gate. Fu-Peg made it to the gate, actually went off as the favorite. As the race unfolded, my blood pressure spiked to 180/90. Watching the race right now on YouTube and, man, starting to TINGLE all over again. When the announcer screamed his famous line, “down the stretch they come,” and Fusaichi started to move toward the front, I lost my FREAKIN’ mind.

I was dancing, screaming, yelling, even doing the worm on the carpet, and pulled something in my groin that is still tender 20 years later. Fu-Peg paid only $6.60 at the window, but we collected almost TEN DIMES!!! PLZ don’t mention any of this to the IRS.

All the Ecks & Bacons here in Vegas are well & strong, and we wish the same for ALL of YOU ALL!!!

Benjamin Eckstein is a nationally syndicated sportswriter/oddsmaker. His column, America’s Line, with the Ecks & Bacon appetizer, has run in the New York Daily News and over 100 other papers since 1988. You can follow him online at www.americasline.com. He is beloved by most, when he picks winners, and detested by others, when he picks the occasional loser. If you wanna piece of Eck, hit his email...ben@americasline.com.