Washington Capitals celebrate in our Stanley Cup adventures

The Stanley Cup Adventures: Beaten, Bruised, Burnt But Not Broken

The Stanley Cup has seen some shit. The NHL trophy, first awarded in 1893, has been around the block being manhandled by celebratory champions who act like frat boys.

Every year, the Stanley Cup winners get to spend the summer with the 3-foot tall award. Each player and staff member is awarded 24 hours with the trophy – sounds alarming.

Now, let’s see the first thing some of these guys do when they get some alone time with the coveted trophy.

Where Has The Stanley Cup Been?

It’s one of the greatest world travelers. Per the Hockey Hall of Fame, the Stanley Cup has visited, “Russia, Japan, and Switzerland as well as atop mountain peaks through the Rockies and inside igloos in Nunavut.” Which is crazy because the Arizona Coyotes can barely even convince people to take a trip to their home arena.

A Scientific Study

The Pittsburgh Penguins franchise got a burst of life after winning their first Stanley Cup in 1991 after an 8-0 blowout over the Minnesota North Stars. Mario Lemieux was hosting a pool party and rumor has it, the boys grew curious whether it could float.

To their disbelief, the 34 ½ pound hunk of silver sank to the bottom of the inground pool. Then, the 1993 Montreal Canadiens turned into conspiracy theorists and had to test the theory for themselves in Patrick Roy’s pool. The legendary goalie could stop a lot, but density wasn’t one of them.

A True North Experience, Eh?

Mathieu Joseph and I have more in common than I thought, and I’m sure I’m not the only true Canadian who feels this way. I was devastated after his Tampa Bay Lightning defeated my beloved Habs in the 2021 finals.

Turns out, I was drowning my sorrows with the same Canadian delicacy the 24-year-old was celebrating with –cheesy, gravy-smothered poutine. Has anyone ever thought about rolling up to Timmies and getting the Cup filled with an Iced Capp?

“You Grabbed The Trophy… Right?”

I say this respectfully, some men aren’t always the most responsible with belongings and the 1907 Montreal Wanderers are a prime example. After winning the championship, the players wanted to capture a moment they’d never forget. So, they headed to the team photographer’s house to snap a memorable picture.

Too bad they forgot the trophy on his lawn. Not one of those Wanderers remembered to take the pretty noticeable, largely sized award before wandering back home.

It’s been said that the photographer's wife used it as a flowerpot for several weeks before anyone realized it was missing and where it could be found.

Brain Freeze!

Truthfully, it’s quite entertaining to see inside a man's mind and the first idea that sparks after they just accomplished a lifelong dream. Colorado’s Cale Makar has the purest thoughts of them all. Back in the defensemen’s rookie season, he was asked what his biggest impulse buy was.

The Norris Trophy winner said, "Umm.. the other day I was driving and I stopped to buy myself a slurpee. I wouldn't usually do that, but I did." I mean, who could forget a massive spend like that!?

So, we all should’ve bet on the 24-year-old’s first stop. His local 7/11 was in for a treat when he filled a slurpee to the brim of the Stanley Cup.

Caution: Highly Flammable

For the New York Rangers, there was plenty to celebrate in the spring of 1940. After 15 years of payments, Madison Square Garden’s mortgage was paid off. Then, the team hoisted the championship after a Game 6 overtime win against Toronto.

The team gathered at a bonfire and thought it would be funny to symbolically burn the mortgage papers in the Cup. Then, the whole trophy went up in flames. So, hockey gods thought it would be equally funny to put a curse on the Rangers.

For a grueling 53 years, the Rangers had to watch fellow New Yorker MLB, NBA and NFL teams collect championships before the curse ended in 1994.

How Many New York Teams Won Titles During Curse?
LeagueTeamChampionships Won During Curse
NHLNew York Islanders4
MLBNew York Yankees14
MLBNew York Mets2
NFLNew York Giants4
NFLNew York Jets1
NBANew York Knicks2

Note: after the costs of damages were evaluated, the Rangers were back in debt for the following season.

Fore The Boys

After being traded by Toronto in 2015, Phil Kessel didn’t get a proper farewell. Instead, he was breaking news in the Toronto Sun’s morning paper. In poor taste, columnist Steve Simmons wrote the winger devoured a hot dog every afternoon from a vendor near his condo. Personally, I’m not seeing the problem even if it were true.

But, Kessel doesn’t forget and is an inspiration to petty people everywhere. After earning his second championship with the Pens in 2017, the former ironman snapped a photo on the fairway with the Cup and enough Frankfurters to make Simmons eat his words.

In The Name Of The Hockey Gods

Tomas Holmstrom must’ve figured the Cup needed to be cleansed from all the prior sins. In 2008, after his Detroit Red Wings defeated the Pittsburgh, Holmstrom decided to pour some Holy Water in the bowl.

At just seven weeks old, Holmstrom’s cousin Alva was baptized inside the trophy in Pitea, Sweden at a private ceremony. The only other witnesses to the religious ritual were two American security guards who travel and guard the trophy. Compared to everything else, must’ve been an easy day on the job.

Alva is now the fourth person to be baptized with the object. Yup, three others have had the same idea. Last year, Jack Johnson christened not one, but all three, of his kids in the Cup. Talk about being born into the game… and all I got was a couple of scoops of water from a plastic cup in the eyes as a baby – not fair.

Will You Marry Me?

Andre Roy popped the question to his girlfriend in 2004… in a helicopter. That helicopter was co-piloted by Hall of Famer Guy Lafleur. The Stanley Cup acted as the ringbearer while the Tampa Bay winger proposed. Talk about setting the bar high. By the way, she said yes. Scootch Over Tampa Bay’s Stanley Cup parade was a boat party in 2021, which I can’t even deny, is sick. Alex Killorn and Nikita Kucherov hopped on a jet ski and made room for one more as they weaved in and out around the marina.

Careful boys, it doesn’t float. They never learn do they?

Which Team Has Earned the most stanley cups?

Stanley Cups Won By Each Active Team
TeamNumber Of Stanley Cups Won
Montreal Canadiens24
Toronto Maple Leafs13
Detroit Red Wings11
Boston Bruins6
Chicago Blackhawks6
Edmonton Oilers5
Pittsburgh Penguins5
New York Islanders4
New York Rangers4
Colorado Avalanche3
New Jersey Devils3
Tampa Bay Lightning3
Philadelphia Flyers2
Los Angeles Kings2
Dallas Stars1
St. Louis Blues1
Calgary Flames1
Anaheim Ducks1
Carolina Hurricanes1
Washington Capitals1

I will never deny a chance of gloating that the Habs have the league-most 24 Stanley Cup championships. Not to mention the the five-year streak from 1956-60. Must've been nice to be Canadiens fan back then, can't speak for the fanbase now, though.

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