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Michael Phelps featured in our Stoner Athletes Awards
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Livin’ The High Life: The Stoner Athletes Awards

Josie Costigan April 20, 2023

Just in time for 4/20, the NBA has finally joined the smoke sesh, changing its policy to no longer prohibit its players from smoking marijuana. As the drug is slowly legalized, major sports leagues are easing up on restrictions and finally becoming fun parents. I mean, the athletes were going to do it anyways. Would you rather they sneak it or do it safely in the house?

The first-ever Stoner Athletes Awards are here. Where we go over the best, the worst, the craziest and the most surprising pothead athletes in sports history. The votes are in, please find your seat, the ceremony is about to begin.

The Pot Of Gold

Let’s spark the night off by burning out the stereotypes – marijuana doesn’t always hinder your athletic ability. A handful of notable pros dab their hands in the drug and have still been the best in their sport. The winner for the most successful stoner athlete is…

Michael Phelps

He’s the most decorated Olympian in history, holding 23 gold medals. In 2008, the American swimmer ripped through the Olympics in Beijing, winning gold eight times. Then, Phelps ripped a bong at a University of South Carolina house party a year later.

The then 24-year-old was given a three-month suspension from USA Swimming and massive media backlash. If one thing is for sure, I guess we know where that insane lung capacity comes from.

Honorable Mention: Ross Rebagliati

Blazing up is how the Canadian snowboarder keeps warm on the slopes. The sport was inducted into the Winter Olympics in 1998 in Japan, with Rebagliati winning the first gold in the men’s giant slalom. But after his drug test came back positive for marijuana, his medal was quickly taken away and he was put on the no-fly list. I guess they didn’t want him getting high at all.

Don’t worry though, Rebagliati appealed and was given his Olympic token back as THC was not listed as a performance-enhancing drug. Less than two years later after the cannabis controversy, he said, “Let’s blow this joint” and retired.

The Buzz Kill

 On the other side of things, there are athletes who have spaced out during the season or killed the vibe altogether. Puff, puff, pass to someone else and take a breather. The winner for the worst stoner athlete is…

Josh Gordon

The NFL wide receiver just won’t give it up. Check out his toke timeline:

Josh Gordon's timeline of marijuana-related suspensions and charges

So, that says it all. Currently playing in the XFL, the 32-year-old never learned his lesson. Which is a shame because he could’ve had a noble career. I wonder what his reaction was when he found out the league changed its rules this year and now you can smoke up without getting suspended.

Honorable Mention: J.R. Smith

The former Cleveland Cavalier has admitted to using and tested positive for the drug during his career. Nothing made his stoner state clearer than his foggy brain during Game 1 of the NBA Finals in 2018. The 16-year pro had snagged a rebound from a missed free throw in the final seconds of the tied game. But, rather than trying to sink a final shot attempt, Smith decided to drain the clock.

He would later go on to say, "What people don't understand about marijuana, which they don't, what they want to continuously label me for. I like weed, weed is fine. There's nothing really wrong with cannabis." Try telling that to the Cavs fans… or LeBron.

The Grass Ceiling

Female athletes, who already make 80 percent less than males, don’t get as many sponsorship opportunities as they should. Their reputations are much more fragile and when it comes to the controversial topic of recreational marijuana use, most are forced to keep it on the down low.

But there are still some badass women who keep on rollin’ regardless of opinions. The winner for the best woman in weed is…

Gillian Robertson

A couple of years ago, the UFC fighter was thrown a temporary suspension after testing positive for THC during an event in Las Vegas. Lighten up, she lost by a unanimous decision to Miranda Maverick that night. In April, the Canadian showed she hasn’t retired from the reefer.

The Savage won by submission by taking down Piera Rodriguez at UFC Fight Night: Holloway vs Allen. The 27-year-old took to her Instagram later that night, pay close attention to the caption:

Gillian Robertson featured in our biggest stoner athletes awards after early April fight

Heads up oddsmakers, if I'm dropping the line for Robertson's next fight, I'm pinning her a heavy -420 favorite. 

The Joint Effort

For the buds who stick together. The winner of the best dutchie duo is…

Mike Tyson & Evander Holyfield

Remember that 1997 boxing rematch that ended in the third round after Tyson bit Holyfield’s ear? Yeah, well decades later, the two have partnered to design an ear-shaped edible. The gummy is sold as “Holy Ears” and the two are raking in the profit based on the infamous moment.

Who Can Eat The Most Gummies Without Falling Asleep?
StonerOdds
Mike Tyson+120
Evander Holyfield-420

Odds for entertainment purposes only.

Tyson’s marketing campaign? "If I was on cannabis, I wouldn’t have bit [Holyfield’s] ear”. Oh, and this brutal commercial:

Honorable Mention: Sean O'Malley

A duo most didn’t think existed. O’Malley and his head coach, Tim Welch, weren’t hemp hesitant, promoting their regular use. In his first UFC appearance, the 28-year-old was co-signed by the Pot President – Snoop Dogg. O’Malley would go on to bag a KO victory over Alfred Khashakyan and kickback with some kush in Snoop’s trailer afterward.

The American lived a dream, “I was puffing and passing, trying to keep up, and they had a TV in there playing highlights of my fight, so were watching that and smoking, it was so much fun. It was only like 20 or 30 minutes, but it was a good time and a memory forever.”

The "let's Hash This Out"

Back then and in certain places to this day, Mary Jane isn’t welcome. The winner for most notable marijuana incarceration is…

Brittney Griner

Attempting to enter Russia with cannabis oil is a bold move. The WNBA champion packed her luggage with her prescribed medical marijuana vape cartridges, which isn’t a big deal – unless you’re Putin. After being wrongfully arrested at Moscow Airport, the 31-year-old was found guilty and sentenced to nine years in prison.

The irony is that the place you’d need weed the most would be in a Russian prison in the middle of nowhere. Then, after a grueling 294 days, the biggest blockbuster trade in sports history went down.

The United States worked out an upfront exchange, Griner for Viktor Bout, a Russian arms dealer better known as “The Merchant of Death”. All I know is the Phoenix Mercury (+2500) has a real shot at the championship now.

Honorable Mention: J.R. Rider

Rider liked to get high on the court, winning the 1994 NBA Slam Dunk Contest. But he liked getting high off the court even more. During his 11-season career, the former Portland Trailblazer was arrested for possession not once, but twice.

The second time was more embarrassing than the first when he was caught smoking out of a soda can. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess.

The Stoned Ages

Weed is welcome for all ages. The winner for grandpa of ganja is…

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

The 76-year-old has said he used to smoke to help with migraines. Who can blame him? It must be hard to remember all the NBA All-Star, championship and MVP awards he’s collected. Abdul Jabbar, who has scored the most points in league history, doesn’t pretend to forget his old friend.

He writes in his autobiography, "I've certainly smoked more than my quota of weed. For a while there at UCLA I didn't want to hang out with anyone who didn't smoke reefer”. How dope is that?

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